Grade 4 Short Constructed Response Score Point 3 - Space Station Passage


Main Idea: Why teamwork is important
Detail #1: cleaning up
Detail #2: getting along
What Works:
- Organization: The student understands that a paragraph includes a main idea with supporting details. There is a main idea sentence to begin the paragraph and a conclusion statement to end it.
- Textual Evidence/Elaboration: The author chose specific evidence from the passage and included the analysis to explain that evidence through the use of the detail generating questions - What does it look like? Why is it important?.
- I know this because in the text it says, “The whole crew works together to keep their space home tidy.” This shows that teamwork is very important because if no one did these things the space station would never be clean.
- “Everyone has to work together and get along. You can't go out somewhere to get away from one another.” This shows that teamwork is important because if no one gets along then you can't really do anything about it.
Feedback with Prescriptive Lesson - Focus Skill
This response would be enhanced through the use of sentence starters to frame up the text evidence and provide high level vocabulary.
- Informational Skills: Section 1 Broad Yet Distinct Main Ideas: Lesson 15 Sentence Variety and Word Referents
- Informational Skills: Section 2 Elaboration: Lesson 8 Flip the Sentence Subject
- Informational Skills: Section 2 Elaboration: Lesson 15 Paraphrasing
- Informational Skills: Section 2 Elaboration: Lesson 16 Giving the Author Credit
Author’s Group Revision Model
To teach revision, use a whole class model. Project the sample for revision and discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the piece. Choose one skill that will address the weakness and with student participation, go through the revision process. This allows students to see revision in action and provides a structure for their own revision process. Using the suggested feedback from above, here is an example of a revised version of this piece.

Sentence starters, word referents and flip the sentence enhance this sample through revision.
What Next?
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