Mention expository writing, and chances are it doesn’t conjure up impressions of engaging, stimulating, reading experiences. Most teachers have read their share of bare bones informational reports and essays – most of which begin with a paragraph like this one:

Hi my name is Kevin. This is my report about frogs. I will tell you what they look like, where they live, and how they grow and change.

The conclusion of this type of piece usually reads something like this:

So now you known all about frogs. You know what they look like, where they live, and how they grow and change. I hope you enjoyed my report.

What might you find in the body of this piece? Often times a list of facts with little elaboration:

First I will tell you what frogs look like. They are small and green in color. Some come in different colors like orange, yellow, and red, even blue. They have smooth skin. Frogs have bulging eyes and webbed feet. They have strong legs with muscles.

The teacher will, of course, encourage elaboration. But even then, children usually respond by locating nouns and inserting overly general adjectives – size words, color words – adding very little to the texture and depth of the writing.

So, how can we teach students to share information in a well-organized, non-formulaic, and captivating way? In a way that not only delivers information, but exudes style and voice? How can we bring expository writing to life?

Let’s look at the following excerpt, in contrast to the earlier example:

     You stroll past a small pond and stop – something catches your attention – a chorus of croaks and ribbits! If you pause and look carefully you’ll notice a variety of frogs in and around the water. They can be seen lounging in the mud, sunning on a lily pad, or floating with their noses just above the surface. These fascinating water-dwellers have a distinct appearance and go through amazing life cycles.

     Would you recognize a frog if you saw one? These amazing amphibians come in thousands of sizes and colors, often to blend in with their habitats or to repel preda-tors. Most could fit in the palm of your hand! This four legged creature comes equipped with long, strong back legs and shorter front legs which help make them powerful jumpers and leapers. Webbed feet aid them in navigating through the water. Their skin is smooth and slick which makes them well suited to pond or marsh life – and hard to catch. You can often see their large bulging eyes staring at you just above the surface of any small body of water.

This piece exhibits better word choice, “shows” rather than “tells,” and ties basic description to relevant, related facts. In other words, instead of repeating the topic word “frogs” which would become redundant, the second example uses what we call word referents: referring to frogs as “water-dwellers”, “amazing amphibians”, and “four legged creature” . The basic description of the frog is elaborated upon – the fact that there are many sizes and colors is important because it helps frogs stay safe within their environment and from predators. Their legs look the way they do because they are built for jumping and leaping. Webbed feet aid in swimming. All in all, this excerpt is more inviting, more interesting, more informative, and ultimately, more readable. Certainly, information is only as good as it is accessible!

So, how to move students from the didactic, predictable kind of writing we see so often?

Of course, the answer is multifaceted, but let’s look at two ways that can be incorporated into instruction that will provide quite a big bang for the buck.

One of the most overlooked weaknesses in the organization and elaboration of expository pieces has to do with the quality of the main ideas in the body of the pieces and the way in which these main ideas relate to one another. We’ve found that many times students will attempt to build a paragraph on a weak, overly general main idea. For example, in the “Frog” piece, imagine trying to elaborate on the following main idea:

“Frogs are interesting creatures”.

The key word here is “interesting”. Using this as the main idea, the supporting details can relate to just about anything having to do with frogs – the author could mix details about appearance, habitat, life cycles, predators, diet, environmental impact – anything at all – resulting in a haphazard collection of facts. And, if the author constructed the remaining main ideas similarly, the result would be that the overall piece of writing was an abstract random collection of details that are not organized in such a way that the reader can access them successfully. Therefore, main ideas must be broad enough to umbrella a variety of related details, and at the same time distinct from the other main ideas. Effective main ideas should also be specific in nature – overly general descriptive statements (interesting, great, fun, nice, awesome, etc.) should be avoided. Students need to be able to look at a collection of main ideas and determine if they will work together collectively. Look at the prewriting plans below. Which plan works, which plan doesn’t, and why?

TOPIC: Winter
Main Idea #1: temperature and weather
Main Idea #2: outdoor activities
Main Idea #3: winter clothes
These main ideas are broad, yet distinct, and work together well.

TOPIC: Summer
Main Idea #1: temperature and weather
Main Idea #2: fun time of year
Main Idea #3: summer activities
Main Idea #4: outdoor sports
Main idea #2 is too general and broad and overlaps main ideas #3 and 4. Also, main ideas #3 and 4 could overlap, making the strategic placement of details difficult.

Crafting main ideas in this way involves the same kind of higher level critical thinking skills that are used in creating Venn diagrams. Thinking in these terms is the first step toward not only good organization, but the logical grouping of details that encourages better elaboration.

Once the body of the piece is defined by an effective collection of main ideas, the next step is to empower students with strong elaboration skills. It is never enough to simply suggest that students add more details. Instead, we need to empower them with an internal dialogue of detail generating questions that authors ask. We always say, “The quality of the questions you ask will determine the quality of responses you get from students.” By modeling strong questioning techniques often enough, students will internalize these productive questions and apply them to their own writing.

Some helpful questions are as follows:

• WHAT DOES THAT “LOOK” LIKE? (show, rather than tell, using all of the 5 senses)
• WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT?
• IS EACH DETAIL IN A SEPARATE SENTENCE? (BREAK UP THE GROCERY LIST!)
• CAN YOU GIVE A SPECIFIC EXAMPLE?

Watch how the application of these questions enhances the list of facts in the following paragraph:

If you have a dog you’ll need some supplies to keep him safe and happy. Your dog can use a special dog bed. (What does that look like? Why is it important?)

Your dog will need two bowls, a collar, leash, and a dog brush. (Is each detail in a separate sentence? What does that look like? Why is it important?)

Don’t forget to get your dog some toys too. (Can you give a specific example? What does that look like? Why is it important?)

Here’s the revision which features the application of the detail generating questions:

If you have a dog you’ll need some supplies to keep him safe and happy. Most dogs enjoy having their own soft, cozy bed. Can’t you just see your fine furry friend cuddled up on a cushy soft flannel bed perfectly sized for him? Not only does the dog feel secure and happy there, but it discourages Rover or Spot from climbing onto the furniture with dirty little paws! Of course you’ll need two easy to clean plastic bowls, one for your canine’s food, the other for fresh water. Dogs need to have fresh water available at all times. If you want your dog to be safe outdoors you’d better invest in a sturdy collar and leash. You wouldn’t want to let your dog run loose – he could get hit by a car! A wire brush will help keep your faithful friend’s coat shiny and healthy, It will also get rid of a lot of dog hair that would otherwise cover your furniture and rugs! And, to have a happy dog be sure to buy some rubber toys such as balls and chew bones to throw for him. People and dogs both enjoy a good game of fetch!

Did you notice the use of word referents in the revised version? Fine furry friend, Rover, Spot, canine, faithful friend – your students can surely come up with even more!

For detailed information on this topic and hundreds of teacher-friendly lessons see The Comprehensive Expository Writing Guide for teachers and students in grades 2 – 8, which includes everything you need to improve expository writing. Workshops are available, click here for more information.

Barbara Mariconda is the author of over 20 children’s books and numerous professional books for teachers. Her middle grade novel, “Turn the Cup Around” published by Delacorte Press was nominated for an Edgar Allan Poe Award by the Mystery Writers of America for best children’s mystery. Her latest, a picture book titled “Sort it Out,” was published by Sylvan Dell Publishing in the fall of 2008. She has presented programs on writing to thousands of teachers at workshops and conferences across North America.